I remembered that my senior looked sad after being rejected by me.

···

"Sher—"

here we go again.

After years of bad habits, I took a knife and cut the wound on my wrist.

Pain became more and more blurred with the passage of blood.

One after another.

I always feel that I need to do this today.

Even my consciousness began to blur. My mind was already blurred.

"Buzz--"

The phone is ringing?

That doesn't matter.

I didn't want to do anything, I just leaned against the corner and watched everything indifferently.

I think it's okay to die and disappear like this.

As long as I don't exist, no one needs to suffer.

Those ugly moods will disappear with me and will not exist.

"Bang--"

At the end of my consciousness sinking, I heard someone smashing the door open.

"Joe Qing?!"

Then someone picked it up and ran away.

——

Wake up in the hospital.

"No big problem. The hospital beds are a little nervous recently. Just take her back to recuperate and wait until tomorrow to check again."

"I just took antipyretics and some antibiotics, and it is normal for the patient to experience weakness in the limbs, so don't worry."

“···”

I was silently carried by my seniors on the taxi.

"Be safe, I'll stay at your house to sleep on the sofa tonight."

I didn't have much strength at all. I just listened in silence.

"Just pretend you agree."

The senior may have seen that I was weak and didn't say anything more, just took me home and placed it on the bed.

Did nothing and took advantage of it.

Just busy dealing with everything.

I don't even talk about the matter of cutting myself.

It's a quiet night again.

What exactly is it like?

I want seniors to help, but no matter what, I don’t want to have an ambiguous relationship with seniors anymore.

I plan to make my consciousness clearer tomorrow and explain it clearly. I can't continue like this. If I get closer like this, it will definitely break down.

I plan to get up from the bed and go to the bathroom with difficulty.

But I was so weak that I had already spent too much effort just by barely getting up.

"call--"

Holding the wall and taking steps is one of the few efforts constantly consumed.

"Plop—"

Soon, he sat down by the living room wall, his face turned pale and he could do nothing.

"?"

"Joe Qing? What are you doing here?"

The senior probably slept very lightly or didn't fall asleep at all, and immediately came over when he heard the movement.

"No... don't, touch me."

"Don't touch you, now you are a patient, tell me what you want to do?"

"Go... I can do it myself."

"You are really strange. Just disappear without understanding. I should have done nothing wrong, right? You have to tell me the reason?"

"Woo... go away."

"It's impossible to let go of it. I'm going to the bathroom, right? I'll help you over."

“···”

No.

No need to worry.

I don't know if I'm too weak or what, I can't stand it anymore.

“···”

Just in front of the senior, I became incontinent.

Before the senior even noticed it, he used all his last strength to hold him, and then tears overflowed uncontrollably.

"It's okay, I won't laugh at you."

"Why are you crying?"

"Come on, slowly get up with me."

The senior didn't mean to tease me.

I have known from before that seniors usually chat in a light tone, but they will be very gentle when they are serious.

I could see that the senior was hesitant about whether to change my dirty clothes and underwear.

"Do you have the strength to change it?"

“···”

"It seems that there is no more. If this continues, you will definitely catch a cold and it is not easy to sleep. What should I do?"

"Does your neighbor have a woman? Why don't I try to knock on the door and disturb me."

"Senior..."

"Um?"

“···”

My head was very confused, as if I could not think of anything at the time.

He was naturally attracted, and pulled his hand with a weak force, signaling him to bend down.

Then close your eyes.

What does the senior think I mean by closing my eyes?

Maybe it's really a wooden man.

He thought it was me who had acquiesced to him to change my dirty clothes.

Change it quickly without touching sensitive places.

My strength slowly recovered during that process.

In the darkness, I stared at the senior's face.

"Senior..."

"Can you... kiss me?"

“···”

The senior didn't answer at the beginning. It was after I closed my eyes for a while before I felt my soft lips approaching.

I responded faintly.

It's like tasting the sweet dew, thirsty little by little.

"School sister Xiaoqing."
To be continued...