I never knew that the mulan slalom, the green birds in the spring, and the warm and watery Jiangnan would also have such a bitter cold wind whistling in my ears, like a crazy laugh of a person.

The tears on the face had already dried up, and were blown by the cold wind, like a knife cut.

So is my heart.

Step by step, I walked back to Jixiang Village from the town and saw the familiar village from afar. But everyone inside looked at me hostilely, slowly feeling contemptuous and disdainful in my eyes. An aunt even passed by me and spat hard at my face: "Shameless!"

"San'er's good husband is not satisfied yet, and she goes out to find a foreigner. She is such a shameless slut! "

"This kind of woman should be cut into pieces!"

"Liu San'er didn't know what she thought of, but she actually married such a woman!"

I looked at the resentful look of those people, and suddenly I felt that I could not cry. My dry eyes swayed through the faces of those people. Everything was so strange and so confused. I turned around silently and walked towards my home.

It was still the same cottage, with a faint orange-red light in the windows. Although it was so cold outside, that little light was the warmest existence in the cold winter. Once upon a time, as long as I looked at the light, I felt my heart full of strength and my whole body seemed to be warmed.

That was the home I longed for the most.

But now, I walked step by step, and every step seemed to weigh a thousand pounds. I was so eager for home, but I didn’t dare to go or go back at this moment. I didn’t want to ruin it. I really don’t want to. This is what I got after using everything. The most precious thing in my life!

No matter how hard I struggled, I finally walked to the door, but saw that the door was open.

The room was full of people. Almost all of the people who had just seen the unbearable scene in the town were there. Everyone was talking around the table and talking. The room was noisy as if it was an overly real nightmare. I stood stiffly at the door, listening to their voices, as if coming from a faraway place.

"San'er, we really didn't lie to you."

"That woman is so naughty. She actually did that kind of thing. You must not spare her!"

"Yes, we saw with our own eyes that she was in bed with that young master Yuan—"

In the middle of the room, Liu San'er was sitting there holding the child. Although everyone around him was talking to him noisily, he sat down blankly, with his dark eyes looking at the candlelight on the table, as if he had heard nothing or saw nothing, and even his soul disappeared.

At this time, someone in the room turned around and saw me and immediately said, "Look, that woman is back!"

I stood outside the house and looked at the people inside looking at me with contempt. Someone immediately said, "Do you still have the face to come back?"

"Miss|Woman! Take her to soak her in the pig cage!"

I couldn't hear anything, just standing at the door and looking at the person in the room.

It seems that until now, Liu Saner suddenly understood what was born outside. She slowly turned her head to look at me. There was no expression on her straight face, which was so hunched that it made people feel distressed.

At this time, the village chief next to him immediately said, "San'er, you can't want such a woman anymore!"

"That's right, we didn't agree when you married her. Look, now, it's true that something ugly has happened!"

"Don't worry, she's gone!"

Amid the noisy sound, Liu Saner slowly stood up and said calmly with a blank expression: "Everyone, this is my family matter, please don't interfere."

...

"Please go back."

The people were speechless all of a sudden. They looked at him, looked at me, and sighed, then turned around and left.

The person left and the door was closed. All the howling cold wind was isolated outside. Only him and I were left in the room, and Li'er in his arms. Although the child was young and did not have his own consciousness, it seemed that the sensitivity of the animal also made her sense of the surrounding atmosphere. Her black eyes looked at us carefully, shivering slightly, and shrank into Liu San'er's arms.

Is she afraid too?

Fear of losing something? Or are you afraid of all your dreams shattered?

Liu San'er kept looking at me silently. It took me a long time to speak slowly. The originally clear voice was strangely hoarse and said in a low voice: "Do you have anything to explain?"

The tears that I thought had dried up filled my eyes again at this moment, and the hot feeling made my heart sore.

"……No."

These two words were like a thunderbolt, and suddenly fell from the clear sky. A crack suddenly appeared on Liu Saner's face condensed by ice.

His voice was also trembling: "You have been related to him for a long time, right?"

"yes."

After saying this, I seemed to feel something completely broken. The severe pain from my chest made me unable to even breathe. I could only look up at his face, even if I could look one more point or a little more, so that I could persevere.

"Remember, if you still have a little nostalgia for him, he will kill him!"

This sentence echoed in my ears like a spell. I can't let him suffer any harm, I can't let him die, so I can't let him have a trace of nostalgia for me, I can only make him hate me cruelly!

Not only his voice, at this moment, even his whole body was shaking. His eyes slowly moved from my face to the child, and he looked at me tremblingly: "Li'er, is it his child?"

"yes."

At this moment, I felt that the last ray of light in his eyes disappeared, and the whole person seemed to have suffered the heaviest blow. He staggered back two or three steps, finally stood firm, looked at me, looked down at the child, and suddenly laughed.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, so that's how it is!"

“…”

"So, I've been taking care of other people's wives and children."

“…”

"So, all of this is really not mine."

Looking at his smile and listening to his words, each sound was like the sharpest knife, cutting my originally bleeding heart into pieces and hurting, but I couldn't speak. I didn't dare to say it, so I could only look at him and laughed. The laughter was the despair he had never had before.

I don't know how long he finally stopped smiling. The once clear and determined gaze was almost broken at this moment, with only the remaining temperature, looking at me: "I have one last question, you answer me."

“…you ask.”

"Have you ever been a little sincere to me? Or have you never really loved me from beginning to end?"

I looked at him and his face. The young and upright face was once so clear, as if the wind blowing from the fields with the smell of grass, without any impurities, was always warm, bringing people comfort and hope.

But now, his warmth has been frozen, as if my despairing heart is at this moment.

Just waiting to be defeated and crushed.

I knew exactly what I should say, but when I opened my mouth, my throat was blocked by tears that suddenly surged up. I couldn't say it. I made a struggle sound like a slight feeling of vomiting.

It turns out that it is so difficult to deceive yourself.

"Tell me!" he was still asking: "I just want this sentence for you."

Looking at his trembling eyes, my soul seemed to be about to be torn apart. When some words were almost about to burst out, the voice of that person suddenly echoed in my ears-

"Remember, if you still have a little nostalgia for him, he will kill him!"

My face suddenly turned pale.

I looked up at him again, and a faint smile appeared on my face, but at this moment, I felt the blood in my body condense into ice.

I heard my voice, which had never sounded so coldly, but it seemed to be coming from thousands of miles away-

"You have also seen how rich Mr. Yuan is and how decent he looks. You don't know yet that he is in the capital, and he is powerful. As long as he follows him, he will never have to worry about his whole life..."

“…”

"Just like me, if I follow him, I don't have to work hard every day, and spend a copper coin every day. I don't have to think that you have to go out every day and earn that little hard money. In the end, I can't eat well and wear well, and I can't accompany me to recite poems and write poems every day under the moonlight."

“…”

"Ha, you have been fishing in this small fishing village for half your life. I don't think you will understand."

“…”

"You are very good, I know...but you have no power, no wealth, no power..."

“…”

"But women... just love these."

“…”

"With him, how could I fall in love with other people..."

Every time my heart hops in my chest, my words are destroyed once. I almost used the last bit of strength to clench my fist, my nails penetrated deeply into my palms. The thrust from my mouth made me tremble, and finally squeezed out the sentence from my throat.

"I have never loved you."

|

As soon as I said this, I seemed to hear the sound of the whole world collapse.

And Liu Saner, the last ray of light in his eyes completely disappeared. He seemed to be unable to stand firmly, and he shook violently for a while. Finally, he stood still. When he looked up at me, his face was full of anger.

He came over and returned the child to me, pointed at the door, his fingers trembling: "Go away! Leave my home! I don't want to see you again."

“…”

"Walk!"

He has never been so angry. I know that it is a humiliation that no man can bear, but all this was brought to him by me!

I didn't even dare to look at his eyes, and turned around stiffly and opened the door.

As soon as I opened the door, the cold wind was blowing with the ice rain, which made me shudder. It turned out that it had already rained heavily outside.

In the winter of Jiangnan, there has never been such heavy rain, mixed with cold snow foam falling from the sky. It seems that even God has cried, but such cold tears cannot wash away the love of my life.

I looked at the vast rain screen in front of me, and felt that I had never been as confused as I was at this moment, I could not see the way I came, and I didn’t know where I should go.
To be continued...