Chapter 1 Meeting an old friend in the mountains

Generally speaking, we are mentally prepared for accidents in life and are mostly not surprised. But we still surpass our normal understanding and psychology as a hermit's first half of life

Part One: The origin of the world

Life is a collection of accidental events. Are there any necessary components in these accidental encounters? The accidental ones prepared are called adventures. Just like the goddess you secretly love suddenly pounced on your arms, your mind will be hit hard, and the stress reactions in your body should include pore contractions, heartbeats, and at a loss. I have this reaction when I see Zhuang Wa again.

The reason why I called him his nickname is because he didn't want too many people to know him. On the other hand, I was his childhood friend and I have always called him Zhuang Wa.

I was used to attribute the so-called adventure to fate and accept it humbly. But the moment Zhuangwa shouted his name, I was creepy and instantly petrified!

I was born in a poor mountain village deep in Daba Mountain. I was sensitive because I was close to nature and felt inferior because I was born with poverty. From our speaking habits, we can see how humble we are: when we talk to outsiders, we never dare to look directly into each other's eyes. From our local language, we can see how poor we are: we call work "a way to live". Over the years, there are two main things to be promising in our places: taking the exam and being a soldier. The exam is influenced by teachers, and being a soldier is decided by officials. So the two people we respect most are teachers and officials. Of course, we are born in the 1980s and 1990s, and the most important thing is to "make money."

Zhuang Wa and I are Lao Geng, who was born in the same year. We live in the same yard. The places we can live in in the mountains and rural areas are small and small, and there are only seven or eight families in one yard. Because of the same age, we are classmates from elementary school to junior high school. I was admitted to the county middle school in high school, and finally got into a key university. Now I am a teacher in a second-tier university in Xi'an. If I follow my parents' design and ideals, I am considered a successful person, but today I don't make a lot of money, so it's better than being a contractor for my brother, the third child, and I am no one else.

Zhuang Wa was born smart and his grades were always better than me. When he was in junior high school, his father injured his leg because he was working. Later, his mother ran away with others. His mood changed greatly, which affected his studies. He failed to get into the county middle school in high school. He studied in the township middle school for three years. Later, he studied in a three-tier university. Later, he heard that he was in the army again, and then, there was nothing, and he disappeared. He disappeared for fifteen years.

The life of being a teacher in Xi'an is as calm as water, so I won't repeat it.

But I have a habit, I like mountains. Unlike my wife who likes to drive around and watch the mountains, I like to climb into the deep mountains alone, listening to the pine waves and cicadas, and watching the wild bees flying. I don’t know if it was Fromm or Jung that said: All life is a fulfillment of your childhood.

On that day, I came down on the top of an unknown hill in Zhongnan Mountain. There was also a small wreath made of wild flowers in my backpack. I was going home to give it to my 3-year-old daughter. I don’t like to walk back, but I can’t be confused when I go down the mountain. As long as you find a stream and go down the water, you can definitely go back to the bottom of the mountain.

This small stream flows to a slightly flat place. I saw a small dam made of stone. The stream water forms a pond. There is a bamboo trough next to the pond, which is obviously artificially used. Is there anyone living in such a deep mountain?

Climbing trees down, following bamboo. There are houses around the corners, and stone slicing is built up; there is land beside the house, and the melons and vegetables are tender and tender.

The forest is quiet, and I suddenly hear my heartbeat. I often come to this mountain, and I guess it is two hours away from the nearest home, and there is no road here at all. I have read a novel "The Death Light on the Coral Island", waiting for the "WHOAREYOU" on the isolated island to say "WHOAREYOU?"

Silence, I approached and looked at the empty wooden door; Silence, I confirmed, and coughed heavily.

"Second baby!"

Just on a stone behind the house, there was a ghost sitting: his bright eyes shot at me in the messy hair and beard! This is the accent of his hometown, this is my nickname!

"I am Zhuang Wa, I am Zhuang Wa!"

Zhuang Wa, that Zhuang Wa? My brain was blank and my legs were a little weak. At this time, I saw a piece of mud hit me, "Damn it, I can't even recognize it, I have to force me to shovel your earwax!"

"Zhuangwa, it's really you, it's really you!"

Chapter 2 The Lonely Boy

I went into the house and drank a sip of tea, and calmed down. In the middle of the house was a Buddha statue, with a flower incense burner in front of it, a stone couch on one side, and a stove on the other side. There was a desk in front of the Buddha statue, and there was a piece of red cloth covering something. I was about to ask, but he said to me, "That's the scriptures, don't move!"

"Where have you been going over the years? So many people are looking for you, and I miss you the most. Do you know? It seems that you are chanting Buddha's name now. What's going on? Let me be honest about it!"

"You asked three questions and answered the second one first. I know you miss me the most, and actually I miss you very much."

"Then you don't come to me. Everyone in the village knows my phone number and address. It's a matter of minutes to find me. You forgot me a long time ago!"

"Do you make sense or not, I want to ask the villagers, then I'll go back? Do you still need to find it?"

"Where are you all these years?"

He looked at me calmly, paused for a few seconds and said, "Drift".

"If you answer your first question, you are wandering; if you answer your third question, you are not wandering anymore."

"Take less, let's talk about it in detail."

"You know that after my father fell and injured his leg, his family was too poor and he couldn't stay in a large hospital. He went back to the health center to treat conservatively. What kind of conservative treatment is actually a psychological comfort, and his legs were eventually disabled. Later, my mother thought that her family was poor and ran away with others, so you know."

"I know everything, don't say anything sad."

"My mother left a letter to me the night before leaving, which meant that, "Baby, I'm sorry, your father and I had a bad relationship. It was your grandfather who used both greed for the bride price and forced me to marry. Now you have grown up, and my mother's junior high school classmates have also come to me. I have raised you for more than ten years. Now I want to live my own life. You have to study hard and make more money in the future. If you want your mother, go to my grandmother's house to see you. Remember, if you want to learn skills and make more money, it's so difficult to make more money. She also pressed a photo of me holding me when I was full moon under my pillow."

"After reading the letter, I tore it up. I didn't cry at that time. I ran to the back mountain alone and stared blankly. There was a grave in the woods, you know."

"I know, we often go to pick up firewood."

"I thought at the time that if it was a mistake for mother to marry her father, then my birth was a mistake. I am a child who even mother doesn't want, and then my existence is meaningless. I have thought of suicide several times, one is to end a meaningless life, and the other is to die to show it to her mother, and she wants her to regret it. Fortunately, Teacher Zhang saw it, Teacher Zhang, please remember."

"She doesn't remember, am I still a human being? I'll have lunch at her house when it rains. Have you stayed at her house for a few nights."

"Those times were the moments of my mental breakdown. Teacher Zhang didn't allow me to go back and insisted on living in her house. She told me a lot of reasons, but a few things convinced me. First, my mother's admission is not your full value. If you have someone to love, Teacher Zhang will love you. Second, suicide will not make your mother regret it, because your mother no longer loves you very much, but your father, Teacher Zhang, the person who likes you the most will suffer."

"Although I have no idea of ​​suicide, my mind that is too sensitive to inferiority often makes me trouble myself. For a while, I was even secretly observing you. If even you look down on me, then I really have no life. Fortunately, you have never been there!"

"You're all suspicious about me, I guess you're almost crazy."

"It's in that state, so if you didn't do well in the middle school entrance exam, you can only go to the village center. You also know that the teachers in the village are just like that. Without reference objects like you, you can't get into the situation. Taking a third-tier university is considered completing the task. When I went to college, your family gave me 3,000 yuan."

"That's sure, we poor people must support each other to survive. This is the morality of the poor and the meaning of keeping warm together. Besides, our neighbors of several generations have no clear understanding of the mutual aid books."

Chapter 3 Where is the way out

"You know my school and major."

"I know, I told me all the letters you wrote. You are the only person who has written to me so far, and I am also the only person who has received letters in our university dormitory. You are studying international trade."

"Why write a letter? Because I can't afford to buy a mobile phone, make long-distance calls, and I'm embarrassed to borrow someone else's phone number. You know my inferiority complex, so I had to write a letter. I chose this major at that time, and I thought I could make money by studying it. But when I went to school, I heard from my seniors that this major was hard to find a job. What was my mood at that time? You know how I was."

"It fell into the pit," I smiled.

"Besides, you know that the teaching level of our school is in the classroom. The teacher will follow the textbooks in class, draw key points before the exam, and pass all the exams. Students are divided into three types: one is always venting in the sports field and practicing muscles, two is always wandering in the girls' dormitory and falling in love, and three is always in the dormitory or Internet cafe and playing games. Only I am thinking of a way out."

"Based on the thinking habits of our hometown, the way out is nothing more than taking the exam and joining the army. At that time, the army was recruiting soldiers in the school and retaining their academic qualifications. I was the only one in the school to register at that time. Later, I went to an armed police force to join the army. I remember that I called you the first day after I got the army."

"Yes, I was very surprised at the time. Why did you go to the army? It seems like you were called by a landline number."

"That was the army's phone number, which specifically asked the recruits to report their safety to their families. My father didn't have a cell phone, and besides, you are the one I'm closest to, so I called you."

"You are smart. After answering your phone, I called my dad again and asked him to tell your dad, and he took several turns."

"I was confused when I was a recruit. Later, I went to a company and went to a detention center to guard the prisoner. I worked hard in the army and performed actively. At that time, I wanted to take the military academy or become a non-commissioned officer or something. The captain and instructor liked me very much and wanted to transfer me to the team headquarters as a clerk. After all, I was a college student and my writing skills were OK. But our squad leader gave the team leader an opinion, saying that I was a military backbone and a demonstration soldier in the class, and he did not agree to transfer me away. Our squad leader was an old squad officer, just like Shi Jin in "Soldier Assault", very dedicated and upright, and I am a educated Xu Sanduo, and his spirit of hard work is steel. I have won the detachment's expert in capturing enemies, trained models, and was also rated as an excellent soldier. I also felt that there was hope for a way out."

"What about it later?"

"If you want to talk about fate, some people say that happy families are the same, and unhappy families are different. This is just the opposite of me. A week before the military academy exam, I fell off a single pole during a training session, twisted my foot, and injured my father's leg, which changed my destiny. I didn't get the exam in the military academy and later became a non-commissioned officer. At that time, my superiors stipulated that people with technical expertise were mainly considered to be transferred to non-commissioned officers. I had never learned to drive a sanitary chef or something, but only knew military training, and I didn't turn it into. With the regret of the cadres and the squad leader, the day of retirement has arrived."

"The night before leaving the army, the squad leader quietly pulled me to the roof. He took some braised dishes from the cooking squad, took out a bottle of white wine, and said to me: Brother, don't blame me, I didn't bring you out, just cry if you want to cry, and beat me if you don't feel relieved. If you can't let go, just take a big sip of the bar. Actually, the squad leader knew about my family. He said that he regarded me as a brother. But I didn't cry, just drank, swallowed it in big mouthfuls. I looked at the squad leader and said: Brother, I admit it, this is fate. The squad leader looked at me and he cried.

When he was talking about this, I found that he was a little excited and his eyes were a little moved. He smiled and said, "It's all over, but I can't forget it, but I can't see that I can't practice."

Words to readers:

Please give me a thumbs up to the lonely strugglers.
Chapter completed!