Mo Xiaoyan has always wanted to know whether secret love is included in the collection of first love. Some people say that secret love is not first love, it is just a person's wishful admiration, with too much bitterness and unspeakable words; it is a kind of Drugs make people narcotic and addictive, sometimes painful, sometimes happy, sometimes confused, sometimes worried about gains and losses; it is a tomb buried deep in the heart, so lonely that few people know its existence, but it will grow with the passage of time and age. Changli gradually became deserted to the point where there was no longer any reason to worship and remember.

Mo Xiaoyan remembered that at that time, she was also by Shen Chen's side as a confidante. At that time, Mo Xiaoyan was a good foodie. He liked spicy barbecue, shaved ice and ice cream. He went to the food city in the winter. She also dared to eat hot pot, hold barbecue, and drink frozen Coke. However, her body could not bear it. She would suffer from menstrual cramps during her menstrual period after eating too much. Her face would turn pale in pain, and she would break out in cold sweats and still be unable to stand up straight. waist.

Mo Xiaoyan also remembers that at that time, Shen Chen would put a coat on the desk, a special cup for Mo Xiaoyan, and a bag of brown sugar for Mo Xiaoyan. He would get her boiled water and carry her to school. After getting an injection in the infirmary and riding a bicycle for half an hour to send her home, she was really happy at that time. She could hug him behind her without any reason, listen to him tell jokes to make her happy, and see his tragic face accompanying her. She drank the brown sugar water that she hated the most, and afterward she would joke that if she drank too much brown sugar and got a nosebleed, she would have to stay at her house for treatment.

They were very close at that time, so close that everyone suspected that they were a couple. They were a couple who loved to study. They would either make a fuss or discuss topics during class. They would pass notes during class and help each other take notes. Not to mention other people, even Mo Xiaoyan believed that they were together.

However, dreams will eventually wake up. People who are addicted to nothingness, the more addicted they are, the easier it is to be shattered when reality comes. The easier it is to feel the powerlessness and despair in this contrast, and finally break the heart into pieces. Then mix it with blood and tears to slowly glue it together.

And it has been stuck for two years. Until now, this heart has not completely recovered. Its cracks always make Mo Xiaoyan feel a faint pain. There is always a name buried in this pain - Shen Chen.

Shen Chen is the biggest drug that Mo Xiaoyan has come into contact with in this life. It is easy to get involved, but it will take a lifetime to quit.

Therefore, she was not too surprised by Jiang Yuhan's words. Yes, Shen Chen is the most tempting drug in the world. It is impossible for drug users to get rid of him immediately after getting involved with him. He is like A bud growing in the bottom of your heart will make your heart ache, but it will also make you willing to nurture it, hoping that one day it will blossom and bear fruit.

But the result is never known. No one knows whether the seed is a real seed or a deadly poison.

The evening conversation ended unhappily. In the evening, in the dormitory, everyone took turns to wash up. It was already the beginning of autumn, and the summer heat would start in a few days. The evening was no longer as hot as before. Mo Xiaoyan was usually the last one to wash up. , so it hasn’t moved yet.

What's wrong with me? Thinking back to how I felt when I heard Jiang Yuhan's words, from understanding to nervousness, nervousness? And there was also a hint of disappointment, as if Yuhan didn't give up on this matter, which disappointed me? There was also anger? This anger What is it again?

Somewhat irritated, Mo Xiaoyan comforted herself. She had such emotional changes not because she was still nostalgic for anything, but because she understood Shen Chen's dangers. She was the first victim. These tensions were because she was worried that Shen Chen would hurt her. Jiang Yuhan is disappointed and angry with Shen Chen. Of course, it is also directed at Shen Chen. It is absolutely impossible for him to have such inexplicable emotions towards Yuhan because of Shen Chen, a person who broke his heart. Won't.

"Sister Yan, what are you doing!" Sun Jingjing had already washed up. When she came out of the bathroom, she saw Mo Xiaoyan biting her nails and hurriedly knocked her hand off, "Why are you still wiping the floor with a rag today? Taste the bacteria? Is it dirty?"

"That -" This was unintentional. Mo Xiaoyan swore that she definitely didn't mean to bite her nails, it was because she was distracted.

"Did you get sleepy while riding in the car?" Sun Jingjing was the last one to finish washing, "Hurry up and wash up and go to sleep!"

Mo Xiaoyan silently took her clothes and went to wash up. When she came out, Sun Jingjing had already fallen asleep, Jiang Yuhan was furiously clicking on her phone, probably chatting with someone, and Ni Weiwei was lying on the bed, applying a facial mask and looking at the screen, because Wearing headphones, I didn't know what she was watching.

Somewhat upset, Mo Xiaoyan didn't feel sleepy, so she took out her mobile phone and played a parkour game. Who knew, as soon as she jumped off the cliff, the call came, and it was Yu Man.

"Hey -" Afraid of disturbing other people sleeping, Mo Xiaoyan got up and went out to the rooftop.

"Hello!" It was indeed Yu Man, "What are you doing? You haven't slept yet?"

"Waiting for your call," Mo Xiaoyan followed suit.

"It's been three days since we left. I'm so impressed. My brain is so flexible and my words are so nice," Yu Man joked.

"No, no, I can't compare with you." Yu Man was much more flexible than himself in this regard.

"You still call me you?" Yu Man snorted, "Then tell me, why did you run away before we came back?"

"Are you going again?" Mo Xiaoyan didn't expect this. She thought they would leave directly from Sanya.

"Otherwise, why would I send you so many specialties? They're all damaged when I send them back. It's better for you, there's no trace of you," Yu Man pretended to be angry and scolded her, "Aren't you crying and asking us to bring them to you? Specialties? I brought the specialties back, where are you?"

"I'm so sorry," Mo Xiaoyan apologized hastily, "I didn't know you would go again. I thought you would leave directly from Hainan. I was wrong. Please forgive me, Sister Man!"

The two chatted for a long time before dropping the topic. Because Mo Xiaoyan came to school early, Yu Man and Zhang Ning, who had brought a bunch of specialties, were left empty-handed when they came to visit. They had no choice but to bring them to school. The specialty was a gift for visiting her parents. Maybe her parents would have thought they were classmates from Hainan, so they were left enthusiastically, had a very light meal of pork rib soup, and were pulled down to have a long chat. .No, I called as soon as I left home.

"I mean, why is my dad calling me?" Because there was a problem with his dad's cell phone for a while, and it always dialed automatically. No one spoke after Mo Xiaoyan answered the phone several times. Besides, she didn't often talk to him. He called, so Mo Xiaoyan ignored several calls tonight.

"Okay, let's not talk about this anymore. Don't even think about the specialties. But why are you going so early? You have to tell me clearly today!" Yu Man really means that I won't be done with you if you don't tell the truth.

Mo Xiaoyan understood her temper and obediently explained all the reasons, including, of course, Jiang Yuhan's words tonight and her own inexplicable mood.

"Really, I think the reason why I have this strange feeling is not because I still care about Shen Chen." Mo Xiaoyan didn't know what he wanted to explain, but he felt that if he didn't explain clearly, he would be misunderstood. , "I'm just, just worried about Jiang Yuhan!"

"Well, I believe you," Yu Man patiently listened to her, "but what you emphasized and explained has nothing to do with me!"

"No, I was afraid that you would misunderstand me," Mo Xiaoyan felt that she would be misunderstood, and she still had lingering feelings for Shen Chen.

"If you don't tell me these things, I won't know. I, a person who doesn't know the situation, will misunderstand you or something?" Yu Man paused and asked, "But I really want to know, can you tell me what you are doing?" Why are you so nervous?"

"I didn't—" he blurted out almost as a reflex.

"You have it!" Yu Man interrupted her, "I don't know about others, but you, I know better than anyone else. I said you have it. Put down all your defenses and think about it. Do you have it?"

"I -" Mo Xiaoyan bit her lower lip, unwilling to admit it.

"Mo Xiaoyan, are you sure you have let go of Shen Chen?"

"I'm sure!"

"You lied!" Yu Man exposed her immediately, "Mo Xiaoyan, if you could let go, you wouldn't be so irritable. If you could let go, you would have fallen in love with someone else. If you could let go, you would have fallen in love with someone else. , you will tell the truth about your past with her when you know that she met your roommate, instead of still being timid and using it as your roommate to cover up your reluctance and uneasiness!"

As if someone had slapped her hard, Mo Xiaoyan was stunned and speechless.

"Mo Xiaoyan, tell me, do you really want to be friends with the people in your dormitory? Do you really long for friendship with them?" Yu Man knew that his words were a bit harsh, but they were not so serious. Mo Xiaoyan will keep deceiving herself, "If you think about it but hide these things, your roommate cares about Shen Chen. How many people do you think she will remember about you and him in high school?" How many people would not misunderstand that there is nothing between you two despite the closeness between you?"

The answer is of course no.

"What do you think your roommate's position will be after she learns about this from others? How will she be treated? Will she feel that you are not lying and are just doing it for her own good instead of fooling her?" Yu Man knew that her answer was no, "I remember you said that you hate people who do pranks the most, especially those who know the consequences of fooling others, or who pretend to be innocent to lure the victims. Now you are Such an annoying character."

What she said was correct, and Mo Xiaoyan suddenly realized that she had become the person she hated the most. She was doing wrong things, but she still had to put on an innocent face, knowing that she could not erase the past. Everything, but still pretend to have amnesia, thinking that if you don't remember, other insiders in the world will also forget. You are as stupid as you want to be.

"Think about it for yourself," Yu Man sighed. "I'm not telling you to hang up the phone now and go to the office immediately to explain to someone. Among the other three people in the dormitory, there will always be one who is calm and sensible. First of all, Tell her about this, and then work together to figure out how to tell other people, and try not to hurt others or yourself."

"I know," some things are scars from the past that you don't share with others, but if you don't tell them, another tumor will grow and make you miserable and tortured. At this time, the only way is to dig out the past. Carrion can make all past and future risks disappear.

"Mo Xiaoyan, if you really want to forget Shen Chen, it's not that you don't see him or think about him, but that you don't feel anything when you see him, just like seeing an ordinary friend. At that time, you I have really forgotten him." Because whether it is love or hate, fear or cowardice, it is evidence that you still love him.
Chapter completed!