Chapter 138 Is it selfish to not want to regret?

"Gu, ba—"

Bite the tip of your tongue.

"Ah, hu..."

The excruciating pain stimulates the nerves, which is not enough.

"Pull-"

Su Yao touched an angular stone in the dark, and with a forceful stroke, there was a deep gash on his wrist.

"hiss···"

With the burning pain, I gasped.

The rising flame was completely extinguished.

"Why does the eldest brother refuse You Ye even after he has reached this level?"

Youye's voice was unusually wavering.

"Anyway, you plan to disappear after doing this, right?"

"Youye is——"

"Shut up first!"

Su Yao pulled her and asked her to sit next to him with her back to him. Then he fumbled to pick up the black cloth from the invisible corner and covered her petite body.

"call···"

It still hurts. I noticed that Yuye's tail was covering the wound, and it seemed that he wanted to treat himself.

"Don't worry about it, it's just right for me now."

Su Yao refused, took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it, "Then -"

"Youye, how do you think I will treat you after you do such a ridiculous thing?"

“···”

There was no response in the dim space.

"Will you really be happy like this?"

“···”

Su Yao still didn't answer and didn't care, "It's obvious that no one will be happy, and it won't make any sense if you do it."

"Because...this is the last time that Youye can exist in an anthropomorphic state."

You Ye spoke.

"This kind of thing..."

Su Yao sighed, "In the end, what does it have to do with being in an anthropomorphic state? I mean the motivation is like what you did when you left a year and a half ago."

"I know very well that I have been avoiding it before."

"I regard you as someone who needs to be taken care of, not as a love interest. And I didn't consider that you would have the feelings you have for me now, and I didn't want to admit it."

"Until it reached this situation."

"Now, you will be 18 years old in a while. You will be considered an adult among humans."

"I don't know what else I can do."

"But I don't want to follow the crowd like before, so even if I am hurting myself like I am now, I have to stay awake."

"I just want to know one thing."

"Do you really feel happy to put me in that state and do that kind of thing with me like a puppet?"

“···”

Waited for a while but didn't get a response.

"It looks like it won't happen anymore."

Su Yao shook off the cigarette ashes and raised his face. After the screen of the mobile phone that fell on the ground was turned off, only sparks flickering between his fingers could be seen in the space.

"actually···"

"I also like Youye more or less. I just never want to admit it."

"...Big brother?"

Through the faint sparks, he could feel her eyes falling on his face.

How do you feel when you hear this?

Who knows. Now is the time to talk to myself.

"Someone told me more than a year ago that maybe Youye likes you."

"Actually, I was very shaken at that time. It should be said that from that time on, I regarded you more as the opposite sex. But I forced myself to still be in the position of guardian and treat you as the first child, so that I can continue to live.

"

"What exactly is it?"

"It's okay to just talk in a place like this, just make a choice."

"Even if I have any thoughts, I will suppress them all. I am not a good person. But I just don't want to see you or her sad again."

"This is probably my bottom line. I don't care about anything else in this world except you and her. If possible, wouldn't it be nice to live together forever? I think so sometimes."

"But the human world has rules. I also have a minimum bottom line."

"Love is selfish. I don't know if you understand it to this extent, Youye. But that's the fact. I chose her, so I shouldn't have any thoughts about you anymore. This is not a question of posture, this is a bottom line question."

"It's like if you and I are in a relationship, but for some reason you also become a lover with another person, I can't accept it."

"Just because I can't accept it, I won't do such a thing."

"I don't want you to do something like this that you will definitely regret. Doing something like a is just an extension of your feelings, and it doesn't mean anything in itself."

"According to my current thinking, you were actually doing the right thing from the beginning, Youye. What's wrong with staying away from an existence that makes you sad?"

"On the contrary, I tried my best to find you, as if I was moved. I did a good deed consciously, but it is actually the cruelest thing."

"but···"

"I can never rest assured."

The pain gradually began to numb, and Su Yao said without reservation, "I will no longer force you to stay or accept my help. In fact, it can't help you much. But there is only one thing, whether it is selfishness or something

Everything is fine.”

"No matter where you go, I hope to be able to contact you and know that you are safe and doing well."

"After ruling out the option of being a lover, I also hope to continue to be one of the few people you can trust in the future."

"If you feel tired one day, just call me or come back to see me."

"May I?"

“···”

After a brief silence, a childish voice was heard, "Big brother, can you touch Yuye's hair?"

"···Um."

Su Yao put out the cigarette butt and reached out to caress her head.

The hair is still soft and smooth and feels good.

"Big brother, don't you hate that Youye did such a bad thing?"

"That's not your responsibility. Speaking of which, I am more guilty of forcing you to come out to meet me in a despicable way."

"It's like what humans call principal criminals and accomplices."

"...Then what's next."

Su Yao was silent for a moment and said, "Are you still planning to leave here?"

"You Ye will never do anything that my elder brother doesn't like again. I only do that because my elder brother and sister have done that and are jealous. I know that my elder brother also loves You Ye, so I am no longer jealous."

You Ye's voice is still pure, like a clear spring, "You Ye is satisfied if I can stay with my big brother."

"...Are you satisfied?"

Su Yao stroked her hair gently and said with a little force, "If it's just like this, I can do it."

"But if Yuye can't fix his anthropomorphic state, he will also need help from his big brother to find a place in the animal world."

"...That's a matter of course."

I feel a little warm in my eye sockets.

"ha···"
To be continued...