I smoked the cigarette puff after puff. The first time I smoked, I choked and burst into tears.

I hated myself for being so cowardly, and I said in my heart: Yi Zhizhi, if you dare to cry again, don't fucking believe Yi.

Then, every time I felt distressed, I stabbed the cigarette butt hard on my left arm. In the thirty-sixth article, I poked the same wound thirty-six times. The pain replaced the distress, and I heard the skin

He made a hissing sound due to anxiety. The more pain he felt, the more awake he became.

I think this cigarette scar will never fade away in my life. That night was the first time I wanted to commit suicide since I was 22 years old.

I smoked a whole box of Chinese. At dawn, I opened the door. The fairy got up from the sofa and asked me: Yaya, what's wrong with you?

She immediately smelled the strong smell of smoke in my room, and her already solemn expression became even more solemn. She said to me in a serious tone that she had never heard before: You, come here.

I sat down opposite her obediently, rubbed my swollen eyes, and waited quietly for her to speak.

The fairy is a very special woman. She didn't speak first, she just stood up and sat next to me, hugged me, and then said: Cry if you want. At the end of the world, you still have me...

Her voice was very long, probably because she was used to singing in operas, and the words coming out of her mouth had a sense of change. This tone was very tear-jerking, and the strength I had built up with so much effort collapsed in an instant.

I nestled in the fairy's little arms, hugged her slender waist, and cried until I couldn't breathe. The sky was dark and the earth was dark. I had never cried like this in my life, and I said:

Fairy, I used to think that loving someone was my own business, so I wasn’t sad...

Fairy, it turns out that love is so painful and harder than imagined...

Fairy, if there is some love, having a relationship is more hurtful than having a secret love...

The fairy kept hugging me and patting my back, and the two women were acting like this all afternoon.

The fairy said: Yaya, sometimes it is a good thing to be underestimated, that way you will be stronger.

The fairy said: Yaya, you have to understand that sometimes if you don’t love hard enough, you will pull others back to you. Loving too much will only produce a reaction.

The fairy said: Yaya, it’s time to stop liking some men. Otherwise, you will be too unsmart.

The fairy said: Yaya, cheer up. From now on, take yourself more seriously.

After the fairy dispersed all the cigarette smell in my room, she lit sandalwood in my room and asked me to have a good sleep.

That night, the fairy who hadn't cooked for a long time called A Pao and his girlfriend, as well as Zai Zi and Pang Pang, in order to cook a sumptuous dinner. Several people who hadn't been together for a long time, because of the fairy's quick call, all took the time.

Come to my house.

A few years later, Ah Pao has opened a bar, and Pang Pang has taken over a seafood stall. Now he is making a lot of money. I have become a white-collar worker. Among the four of us, only Zai Zi’s situation is a little more difficult. He was young back then.

I had a child, now I have to support a family and a child, and I don’t have a fixed career, so it’s relatively difficult to get by.

Over the years, the four of us have kept in touch. Although our life paths are different, our sincerity has always been there. Because each other's life circles have undergone tremendous changes in these years, we don't get together much.

There are not as many common topics to talk about as before.

But at the moment of toasting, I can still see the true feelings in everyone's eyes, which has not changed over time.

We haven't drank like this for a long, long time, I haven't used swear words like this for a long, long time, and we haven't joked so unscrupulously for a long, long time.

I said: Ah Pao, I will never play such a high-end thing as love again.

Zaizi said: Hey, if I could choose again, I would definitely take anti-pregnancy measures.

Pangpang said: I really want to study now. I envy college students when I see them.

A Pao said: It doesn’t matter whether you study or not. The key is that the longer you live, the less happy you become. We were so carefree back then...

Everyone has their own troubles, everyone is growing up, and everyone’s ideas are changing. The only thing we can do is to raise our glass and gently say to our once carefree youth: Hello,
Chapter completed!