I'm taking a day off tonight, I don't want to write.

I don’t have any motivation or inspiration to write new chapters and update them... I’m a little tired.

Let me tell you my story, and everyone should talk about this chapter as my mood, or a log.

In 2010, I had no school at that time, dropped out of school and started to learn music, and moved forward for my dreams. At that time, I thought that people could not live like a salted fish, people should have dreams, and I looked down on anyone who had no dreams!

That year, I was 15!

Reality gave me a head-on blow, but society told me that dreams are nothing. A philosopher was fabricated in my heart, and the philosopher said: Dreams are for being crushed!

At the age of 15, I started my music journey with a guitar on my back.

I write songs myself, arrange music myself, and sing myself. I think I am the best in the world, but various original musicians on the 5 private tell me: You are just trash.

After 11 years, the original music dream that I had been persisting for a year was shattered. But I still firmly believe that hard work will always bring rewards. I quit the front desk and stayed behind the scenes, and I became a music producer.

I started to learn music by myself, starting from composing, and learning it steadily little by little. Then I arranged the computer, and then to post-short mixing. That year, I was 16 years old and was already a music producer.

I worked as an arrangementist, composer, and recorder in the recording studio... I worked as a gunman in a record company, and I wrote a song that costs hundreds of dollars and was not named. The music industry does not call it that way, but the author industry calls it a gunman.

After 12 years, my heart began to shake. The master told me that music is nothing. There are a lot of people playing music in China. There are 1.4 billion people, except for mutes, everyone will hum a few sentences. There are so many people who write songs, and there are countless professionals. Record companies say that there are not many more, and that there are not many less, but why do they have to sign you?

That's an ironclad truth. People who are popular may not be able to sing. Andy Lau doesn't know the score yet, but XXX never sings himself. Why? Because this damn music, unless your talent is amazing and you have earth-shaking luck, the grassroots counterattack has never happened more than ten years ago.

Singers are made of money, and musicians are made of relationships...

In 13 years, I gave up music. Finally, I realized that it was a road that was going to be dark. That year I was 18.

In the second half of the year, I entered the online literature industry. I started writing novels and still believed that hard work would succeed!

It was not until June 2014 that the first book was signed.

The first book is all ordered for 40...one million words.

The second book is all ordered for 60, and one million words are finished...

In 1925, I was 20 years old... I started writing two books, even three books at a time.

The previous book was ordered at 140. Halfway through writing, I encountered a large-scale website banning the book, but unfortunately died.

The King of Hell is the first... I can't count many of them. Because I have written too many of them in a scattered manner, I still failed and my grades are very bad.

Now December is the end of the year, and it is about to enter 16 years. I don’t know what the next year will be like. I still have a voice in my heart to tell me that hard work will definitely bring rewards!

13 to 15 years. I have nothing and have lost a lot.

I was 18 years old and I was with my ex-girlfriend for two years. She left. I told myself that this was a temporary departure. I had been breaking up and getting back together many times before, and I told myself that this time I was just a long time apart. Well, it's been five months...

I was her first love. She had short hair at that time, and I quarreled with her more than once, but she just said, I don’t like long hair, I have to short hair, and I have to wear neutral clothes...

I called her today and greeted her very politely, like an old friend I haven't seen for many years, but her tone is cold.

She said, my hair has grown long now.

I didn't say anything, my eyes were red.

She said again, this is the last call. After I call, I will block you because my new boyfriend will not let me contact my ex-boyfriend again.

I continue to remain silent.

She said: Don't contact me anymore, I figured it out, you said that girls should have a girl-like appearance, and their long hair is actually very beautiful. He also encouraged me to have long hair, so I kept it. Sorry, I didn't do it for you back then...

I forced a smile: I wish you happiness, I am living a good life now. Goodbye.

I hung up the phone and didn't drink alcohol. I roared in my heart, "I have gained something and lost something in two years. I have gained nothing. I am still a loser, a slutty guy who lives foolishly for my dreams. And I have lost love, youth, and beautiful memories of my peers."

When my peers were scrambling to work in college, playing games, eating and waiting to die, and enjoying the "destroyed youth", I got up at 8 o'clock every day, wrote two books a day, and scribed until the early morning.

When my peers have education and are waiting for college graduates to arrange their jobs, I am working hard for my future, gradually transforming from dreams to a realistic future!

I lost my entire youth, and I continued to lose... and continued to fail, and remained firm.

I understand, my heart is actually a swear word. Their subtext is: The stones in the pit are smelly and hard, and they stay in the pile of shit and urine unswervingly!

Imagine the woman I love, now acting coquettishly in the arms of another man. Imagine that I was talking about this thought in this nobody corner, and she was chatting and laughing with her new boyfriend in the Western restaurant. Imagine that when I was alive, I was happy and sad alone, and I couldn’t even find a friend to talk to. My former classmate had a large group of brothers and friends sitting together on campus and laughing, talking unscrupulously about which class of beauties are so beautiful...

I have lost a lot. When facing the computer for a long time, I have lost friendship. When facing the computer for a long time, I have lost love. I have lost youth and the most beautiful years in my life!

I took a deep breath of cigarette, and nicotine passed through the trachea and entered my lungs. The scorching pain and tears came out. I could finally laugh out loud... It should be forgotten.

Forget your youth and forget all the beauty. I should continue to persevere and go further and further along this road. Forget everything and forget all the negative emotions. I instill in myself with the chicken soup for my soul. I still think that hard work will always bring rewards, and persistence is victory.

Even if... it is a victory in the spiritual world.

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I looked through this vest, and from June this year to now, the sum of all the royalties income.

Three thousand yuan...

From June to December, I wrote a book at Qidian and earned 3,000 yuan.

hehe.

And this is what I got...

Can anyone understand how tired I have to write? The liver is too heavy, and if I sneeze, my nose bleeding will spray on the computer display screen. At the age of 20, I have spondylosis, periarthritis of the shoulder, and one has not fallen... I seem to have lost my health...

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Sigh, reality is actually like this.

Life has to continue, but the dream has come to an end...

Thank you to the readers who have always supported me, and to the fans of Dabaojian.

Thank you for accompanying me along the way.

－－－－

Crazy!

Hysteria!

Everything today finally pushed me to the limit!

I cried and got drunk. Bring my headphones to the maximum volume of rock music, listened to the intense music, covered my head in the quilt, and shouted at the top of my lungs:

"I won't admit defeat!!!"

"I don't admit defeat!!!!"

...

It’s so stubborn and unchanging. After accepting reality, I still have a soil for my dream stock in my heart. I don’t know how long it can live...

This is the words of a fool and the essay of a loser.

You are there along the way, thank you! Mobile phone users please visit http://m.piaotian.net
Chapter completed!